As a clinical psychologist with a son who has been charged with a sex offence as a teenager, I am interested to hear from other parents and professionals who are interested in this problem. It is clear to me that there is little real understanding of this issue. I would like to hear from parents who find themselves in a situation where their son has been accused of inappropriately touching either a member of their own sex or the opposite sex.
My son was adopted at the age of five. At the time of adoption, he was diagnosed with a severe emotional disability. He is now 16 and has struggled with issues of abandonment and attachment. There have been ongoing interventions, but unfortunately, they were not enough to keep him out of trouble. He was accused at the age of 12 of a felony offence for having sex with an 11 year old. We may never know what really happened, but it was clear that there was penetration. In Michigan, the law is clear, when there is penetration between minors the male is charged with a criminal offence.
For anyone who has been in this situation, it is absolutely your worse nightmare. In our case, my son really did not understand what he had done. It was probably his first sexually experience. The young girl, according to my son, was the initial aggressor. She had had at the time, a long history of inappropriate sexual behavior with males. We will never know what really happened. The result was that my son was accused of rape and found guilty. He will be listed on the sex offender list for the rest of his life, even though he has now had extensive treatment and there is not a professional I know of who would say that he is a threat to society.
How did we get to a place where children are included on a list that was originally meant for adult child molesters and rapists? In a society where children are bombarded with all kinds of mixed sexual messages, maybe we, as a society, need to take some responsibility for the confusion kids’ face when it comes to figuring out appropriate sexual behavior.
I would love to hear from folks who have had similar experiences or are interested in this issue from a professional point of view.
My son was adopted at the age of five. At the time of adoption, he was diagnosed with a severe emotional disability. He is now 16 and has struggled with issues of abandonment and attachment. There have been ongoing interventions, but unfortunately, they were not enough to keep him out of trouble. He was accused at the age of 12 of a felony offence for having sex with an 11 year old. We may never know what really happened, but it was clear that there was penetration. In Michigan, the law is clear, when there is penetration between minors the male is charged with a criminal offence.
For anyone who has been in this situation, it is absolutely your worse nightmare. In our case, my son really did not understand what he had done. It was probably his first sexually experience. The young girl, according to my son, was the initial aggressor. She had had at the time, a long history of inappropriate sexual behavior with males. We will never know what really happened. The result was that my son was accused of rape and found guilty. He will be listed on the sex offender list for the rest of his life, even though he has now had extensive treatment and there is not a professional I know of who would say that he is a threat to society.
How did we get to a place where children are included on a list that was originally meant for adult child molesters and rapists? In a society where children are bombarded with all kinds of mixed sexual messages, maybe we, as a society, need to take some responsibility for the confusion kids’ face when it comes to figuring out appropriate sexual behavior.
I would love to hear from folks who have had similar experiences or are interested in this issue from a professional point of view.
posted by Dr. Dennis Jacobs | 8:59 AM
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